the flatlander

UVM Caters to Mega-Classes

2009-05-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

As UVM moves forward with its plans to aggregate intro classes single mega-lectures taught by one factuly member and several undergraduate TAs, with as many as 600 students, they beginto lay the foundations in professional development:

** Workshops ***  + LEARNING IN LARGE CLASSES: DESIGNING OUTCOMES, SUPPORTING   ENGAGEMENT, AND ASSIGNING AND RESPONDING TO STUDENT WORK + Thursday, May 21, 09:00 am http://www.uvm.edu/ctl/?Page=events/index.php#313  + LEARNING IN LARGE CLASSES: STUDENT INTERACTION + Thursday, May 21, 1:00 pm http://www.uvm.edu/ctl/?Page=events/index.php#314  ***Panel Presentation***  + UNIVERSAL DESIGN: INCLUSION FOR ALL + Monday, June 15, 4:00 pm http://www.uvm.edu/ctl/?Page=events/index.php#315

Join Students & Faculty to Speak Out to the Board of Trustees

2009-05-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

On May 16th at 8:30am in the Davis Center, Students and Faculty will present our case to the Board of Trustees to truly reinvest in academics, roll back layoffs and make administrative pay cuts to balance the budget. Be there!

Also, please read below, from Tina Escaja, Romance Languages, and Nancy Welch, English...

WHAT: Join concerned students, staff, faculty, parents, and community members this Saturday morning, May 16, 8:30-9 am, Livak Ballroom, 4th Floor, Davis Center during the UVM Board of Trustees public comment period.

WHY: Many concerned community members and parents have written to the trustees and President Fogel asking that the university administration recommend to the state's attorney that all charges be dropped against the 31 students arrested last month for "trespassing" when they held a sit-down in Waterman to protest President Fogel's tuition hikes, layoffs, and class-size increases. To date, President Fogel and the trustee Chairman Boyce have responded by asserting that the matter is no longer in their hands.

But at today's arraignment, we learned that this may be far from the case. In fact, the state attorney's office is likely to be in close contact with the university administration between now and the June 10, the return court date for many of the students. The administration *could* concede that this was a nonviolent and nonobstructive protest that in no way threatened university operations or individual safety and that university's response of bringing in police and pursuing criminal charges was an overreaction. The administration *could* publicly announce that it now recommends the dismissal of the cases against the students. After all, the administration has not sought internal sanctions against these students--for which President Fogel and his administration are to be commended. As the administration clearly and rightly feels that no sanctions against these students would be justified, they *should* take the next step and let the state and public know that the criminal charges against the students are without justification either.

So far the administration has been reluctant to make this recommendation. That's where the trustees come in: Stand with the students and university community members who'll be addressing the trustees Saturday morning, 8:30-9 am, Livak Ballroom, Davis Center.

We especially want to make sure there are many, many people standing together to urge the trustees, both in discussion before the meeting's start and through the public comment period, to call on President Fogel--in the interest of upholding UVM's commitment to social justice and so we can continue a vigorous and widely participatory debate about UVM's challenges and priorities--to announce his recommendation that the cases against the students be dismissed.

Please join us. Throughout this difficult year we've repeatedly learned that the trustees and administration do indeed respond for the good of UVM when we stand together in large numbers. And there's no better way to say thanks to these dedicated students than to let the trustees know that we support them--and that an administration fond of showcasing nonviolent student protest in the past should not punish it in the present.

UVM Trustees' Chair Sends Retort to Concerned Parents

2009-05-13T09:16:00.001-07:00

As you may know, 33 UVM students were arrested at the UVM Sit In on April 22nd. Their parents were very dismayed to see that the University would pursue charges against their children for nothing more than peaceful protest.

Here is Trustee Chairman Ian D. Boyce's (email address: ian.boyce@verizon.net) response...

Dear Concerned Parents,

I am in receipt of your recent communication with respect to the citation of student protesters. I want to assure you that the University is handling the cases of the students who violated our dissent and disruption policies appropriately. I would however, like to speak to some of the points raised in your email.

Okay, here I'd like to mention that we were sitting and singing in an open UVM building. What policy does that violate and why is there a policy against peaceful protest anyway?

First, these students were presented with numerous opportunities to learn and understand the budget reconciliation process through direct interaction and dialogue with members of the senior administration and the Board throughout the academic year, and indeed they were directly engaged with our Chief Financial Officer on these issues on several occasions. Moreover on more than one occasion they had the opportunity to express themselves directly to the Board through the public comment period.

Yes, we did indeed meet with Richard Cate several times. (Fogel always refused to talk to us.) And we did our allotted 3 minute public comments at the trustees' meeting. And we sent emails and made phone calls. We exhausted all diplomatic options before escalating actions. So, that's why you're punishing us? The University was always the first to escalate by ignoring us, closing the building early on us, and threatening us. This, for our part, was intended to be a peaceful dialog.

Despite these opportunities for learning and interaction, these students chose to pursue a series of demands that could not be met in a way that was acceptable to them. And they pursued them in a disruptive manner that was a far cry from peaceful dissent. While the University respects the rights of our students to express themselves, no group or individual has the right to disrupt the normal functions of the University, no matter how passionate they may be about a particular issue.

Uh...remember the time during the Sit In when we had *very* pared down demands on the table and President Fogel said he needed to think about them and he'd be right back and then he walked out the back door and went to a party and didn't come back? Who wasn't being reasonable? I'll give you a hint, it wasn't the people who got arrested. Also, what part of singing and chanting wasn't peaceful? What is your idea of peaceful?

Our country is a country of laws, and our university one that values respectful dialogue. It is my understanding that the students who were cited had every opportunity to avoid legal or disciplinary consequences, but intentionally chose not to do so. Through communication with the Director of Police Services I learned that numerous warnings about the possible consequences of their actions were provided to the students. At this point, it is up to the court system to determine if and how these violations will be pursued and up to the University to consider how any disciplinary sanctions may be applied. I am confident that these students will be dealt with fairly in this matter.

Oh, how very patriotic of you! There's a thing called compassion and another called respect. These students were standing up (sitting down actually) for your faculty and staff. Try a little of each.

I believe this event has indeed provided a "teaching moment," in that we all must be aware that our behaviors have consequences, and ultimately we all must be responsible for our actions. I am proud of the passion and commitment of our students. But whatever the issue, when dissent dissolves into the disruption of the activities of the University and threatens the safety and wellbeing of our community members, it will be addressed within the well-established policies of the institution.

Thank you for sharing your concerns.

Sincerely,
Ian D. Boyce

Consequences! How interesting that you bring that up as the UVM Administration never had to face consequences for, as the Free Press put it, having "squandered millions" on PeopleSoft overpayments, nor the nearly $1 million in executive bonuses and extra compensation paid out. Nope. Instead you're punishing the faculty, staff, and students for your mistakes. All while giving the President a pay raise.

Mr. Boyce, I genuinly feel sad for you that you think a teachable moment is arresting 33 peaceful protesters. It tells me that you yourself may be beyond truly teachable moments. You clearly weren't there and either a) want to believe bad information or b) need to justify someone else's actions. There was no time during that event when the safety or wellbeing of our community members was at risk. Though I can't say the same for the faculty and staff losing thier jobs.

UVM Prez gives himself a raise

2009-05-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

UVM President Fogel is giving himself a raise while laying off faculty and staff - read all about it http://bit.ly/t7oRW. Ew.

Article about yesterdays news conference from the Free Press
UVM budget fight still kickin'! http://bit.ly/kYXIJ

Board of Trustees Meeting is Friday, you still can still write a letter:
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/chooseLetter/choose.php

Students Stand Up & Faculty Union Joint Press Conference

2009-05-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Dear UVM community members,

Below is a press release that will go out Monday morning announcing a
press conference to be held Tuesday, May 12, 12 noon, Mildred Livak
Room, Davis Center, by United Academics and the Students Stand Up.
Please mark your calendar and join us! Although the UVM administration
plans to restore $3.2 million to teaching and research, a good number
of you are painfully aware that this has not directly translated into
job and position restorations for many faculty, staff, and programs.
In addition, some 30 students still face charges for their peaceful
protest of academic downsizing last month. Let's make sure the
trustees know that our concerns about academic quality and student
experience have not yet been fully and satisfactorily addressed.

Please spread the word about Tuesday's press conference and attend
yourself--sitting in the audience or, if you can, standing with
Students Stand Up! and United Academics speakers. If you still have a
"Don't Downsize Education at UVM" placard, bring it along. Or come a
few minutes early to make a poster to hold reflecting the press
conference concerns and faculty and students' shared goals.

Nancy Welch
Professor, English
Communications Co-Director, United Academics

For Immediate Release
UVM UNITED ACADEMICS AND STUDENTS STAND UP! TO HOLD PRESS CONFERENCE TUESDAY
University of Vermont Faculty and Students Oppose Budget Cutting
Measures Together

Press Conference
Tuesday, May 12
12 Noon
Mildred Livak Room (4th floor), Davis Center
University of Vermont

We are encouraged to see that the UVM administration has recently
agreed to provide a $3.2 million reinvestment mostly to teaching and
research activities. This distribution of monies reflects the hard
work and strong voices of students, faculty and staff on campus who
spoke out about the original cuts and the severe impact they were
likely to have on academic quality. Despite this positive step, other
administration actions still threaten to damage the quality of our
academic life and our reputation as a student-friendly institution.
This need not happen.

United Academics is inviting Students Stand Up! to join us in
expressing our serious concerns over the administration's budget
cutting measures. "Faculty and students share this university," said
David Shiman, president of the faculty union. "We share a commitment
to academic quality in the face of increased enrollment, fewer
instructors, larger classes, and diminished curriculum offerings. We
share a commitment to opening up what has historically been a rather
closed budget decision-making process so that the voices of the
stakeholders in the university can be heard and valued. And we share
a commitment to the fair treatment of those students who were arrested
for engaging in peaceful civil disobedience in late April."

Explained Kait Del Pozzo of Students Stand Up!, "We are trying to
engage the administration in a constructive dialogue. We understand
the economic climate the university faces. But we also know that the
budget doesn't need to be balanced on the backs of students, staff,
and faculty. We see other solutions that aren't being considered,
such as Administrative pay cuts."

United Academics, the UVM faculty union, represents full- and
part-time faculty members at UVM. Students Stand Up! is a student
group formed in the fall of 2008 in opposition to some of the
university's budget- cutting measures. While their agendas and tactics
might differ from time to time, both organizations share the goal of
maintaining academic quality at UVM. United Academics values the
students' commitment to protecting the quality of this institution as
demonstrated by their hard work, enthusiasm, and concerted action, and
we call on the University to respect these rights both practically and
legally.

The press conference will include both faculty union and Students
Stand Up! speakers.

For information, contact:
David Shiman, President
United Academics
656-1428 or 881-4583

Type to Trustees Today!

2009-05-08T06:54:00.001-07:00

Hello UVM & Co -

Today we are launching a one-day campaign to show the UVM Trustees how much we care. Please write a letter and distribute widely.

On May 15th the UVM Board of Trustees will decide the fate of UVM's budget. These decisions will determine whether 109 UVM staff and faculty go back to work. We need to tell them to put a higher value on academic quality at UVM, than the administration currently is.
The trustees don't work at UVM and the don't live in Burlington. They haven't been to the walk out, seen the sit in, heard the forum or walked past the banners. They probably haven't even seen the news coverage. To reach them, we need to write to them. They are not Fogel - we need to convince them to join our team!

Use our email templates to get started:
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/chooseLetter/choose.php
It only takes a sec!

**Spread the word via listservs, Facebook, twitter, or just plain old email! This will work best if we all do our part.**

Thanks in advance!

PS. More info at:
Blog: vtflatlander.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/reqs.php#/group.php?gid=53137243463&ref=ts
Twitter: http://twitter.com/studentsStandUp

Dissecting the Rhetoric of the Hughes Memo

2009-05-05T12:37:00.001-07:00

I'm done with finals, so now all I have to do is stay on top of the Fogel Administration, I guess. Lucky for me John Hughes sent out a new memo today detailing how much of the $3.2M of the Pathetic Reinvestment Plan was actually going to which college in the university.

I will say this. Thank you, Provost Hughes, for giving us this information. And then I will say this, too. How about taking a freaking pay cut so that no one needs to be laid off?

Okay here's the memo with my editorializing:

As previously announced and subject to final approval by the Board of Trustees, the President and Provost have made $3.2 million available in the FY 2010 general fund budget for reinvestment in the academic budgets of the colleges and schools. The allocation of these funds has been informed by the April 29, 2009 Report on Budget Constraints prepared by Vice President Cate and Associate Provost Knodell based on meetings with deans, the April 13, 2009 Preliminary Fact Finding Report of the Faculty Senate Financial and Physical Planning Committee (FPPC) based on input from individual faculty, and by recommendations from the Academic Quality Assurance Task Force. Updated reports of the FPPC will be forwarded to the deans as they become available. The Task Force, a joint group of Faculty Senate committee members and senior administrators, reviewed the two reports and presented five principles and priorities to the President and Provost to guide their allocation decisions. This report presents the results of this process of consultation.

Read: Here's the people who we consulted about this. It was everyone except you.

There was a good deal of consensus between the two reports. A key finding is that, as a result of the budget reconciliation for FY2010 and efforts to reach target student-faculty ratios set for the various colleges and schools, more undergraduate course sections will be taught by full-time, tenure-track faculty and full-time lecturers. The size distribution of course sections has shifted somewhat to larger sections. Consistent with the recommendations of the Task Force, much of
the $3.2 million fund has been allocated to uses that mitigate the effect of higher teaching loads on scholarly productivity, that ensure adequate support for lab and discussion sections, and for clinical and field supervision, and that protect the quality of the first-year experience. The reinvestment allocations described below are all base funding increases, except in the case of the School of Business Administration, where one-time funding will be applied for FY 2010 and base funding for FY 2011 will be determined after a permanent dean is appointed. The specific instructional purposes of these funds will be determined by the deans in consultation with
the Provost.

Read: The only way we can pull of the targets that we thought were so awesome is by overloading faculty with courses and only teaching ginormous courses that suck for students.

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences: Due to the pressure of high enrollments and high student-faculty ratios in certain units, the reallocation will fund lecturers and offset base funding lost in the correction of a structural deficit in Extension, which provides some funding to this college. $190,000.
School of Business Administration: The reallocation will fund lecturers to maintain
important curricular offerings, deal with some class-size issues and stabilize the School’s operating budget. $200,000.
College of Arts and Sciences: The College will receive funding for a new college-wide
undergraduate teaching assistantship program, to assist faculty teaching larger sections of introductory courses. The College will also receive funding for its lecturer budget, which has grown to meet higher enrollments without commensurate new base resources. Some funding is also provided to assist with start-up packages for new faculty. $1,300,000.
College of Education and Social Services: The College will receive funding for lecturers to ensure adequate staffing for the supervision of education students in the field. $120,000.
College of Engineering and Mathematical Sciences: The College will receive funding for graduate teaching assistants to assist faculty with larger sections, and for a tenure-track faculty position in a high-enrollment area. $250,000.
College of Nursing and Health Sciences: To address concerns about program viability, the College will receive funding for three pools of part-time clinical faculty to provide supervision for nursing students, and for two tenure-track faculty positions to cover integral areas of the curriculum. $800,000.
Rubenstein School of the Environment and Natural Resources: The College will re-
ceive funding for lecturers to address staffing needs in several areas, including the Environmental Program. $330,000.
Honors College: The College will receive new base funding to restore the Summer Seminar and to consolidate programming in support of undergraduate research across campus. $20,000 in new base funding, plus $100,000 transfer from Arts and Sciences to support the HELiX program in its new configuration.

Read: Here's the amount of money that we'll put back into your colleges. You don't really know how much was taken out to begin with or what exactly was cut because we didn't feel like telling you. But here's a random number that people should be able to magically distill into fairies and rainbows. Also, Arts & Sciences, we're going to put most of your money into a scab labor force of unqualified undergraduates to take the place of the oodles of experts and professors that we just laid off. Cuz that's almost the same.

In addition to the $3.2 million reinvestment in the colleges and schools, the budget of the Vice President for Research and Dean of the Graduate College will increase by $750,000.

Uh... what is this?

So, the only thing I'm sparing you (because the formatting was getting getting all wonky) is a table about how oh-so-generously the University has actually raised the budget of each college's base budget this year. Okay, so a) what is the "base budget"? If you're always moaning about a budget gap, then obviously that's not the only money that matters. So, that's totally deceptive. But thanks. And b) If you're raising everyone's budgets then why aren't you sending 109 employees back to work? Please spare us the BS next time. I can find another hobby.

Dissecting The Rhetoric of the Cate Memo

2009-04-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

On Friday UVM VP Richard Cate sent out a memo about UVM's internal budget situation. This was essentially a rephrasing of the response he wrote to the student demands during the student occupation and sit-in last Wednesday.

Cate mentioned several "actions" which weren't actions at all. However, he clearly did feel compelled to send the memo due to the mounting pressure on the administration by the greater UVM community, so that's something. Let's take a look. Here's the memo:

I am writing to clarify the status of the University’s budget. Over the past several months, President Fogel, Provost Hughes and I have been engaged in ongoing budget discussions with students, faculty and staff all across campus, as well as with the Board of Trustees. These discussions have provided us with insights that we have used to craft the FY 2010 budget proposal. We reviewed the preliminary budget proposal with the Budget, Finance and Investment Committee (BFI) of the Board of Trustees on April 13th and the Full Board is scheduled to take final action on the budget on May 15th.

I am writing to clarify that the general sentiment on campus is that the administration forced the hands of departments to cut their own instead of making administrative pay cuts, and everyone thinks that sucks.

We are going to await tuition deposit data and final action on the state budget, currently scheduled for on or about May 8th, before making a final budget recommendation to the Board. It is critical that we meet our enrollment targets because a variance in enrollment of 100 students results in a $1.7 million change in net general fund revenue. I want to stress that the final budget proposal we send to the Board will be based on these revenue sources, which are not yet confirmed, so the final proposal may vary somewhat from the one reviewed by BFI.

According to the State of Vermont Joint Fiscal Legislative Office, UVM is getting $3.9M more than last year. And the University is so sure enrollment is going up they are building a new dorm.

Although the FY 2010 budget being considered by the State Senate differs in some ways from that adopted by the House of Representatives, either would provide the University with the same base funding ($40.7 million) in FY 2010 that we will have received in FY 2009 after mid-year cuts that total 5%. Both also propose to provide an additional $5.4 million in one-time funding. This one-time money may come from federal stimulus funding but we do not expect to receive any other stimulus money from the State or any other source that could be used to deal with our budget deficit. Some academic units and principal investigators are, however, in the process of applying, via competitive grants, for one-time funding for specific projects.

Like I said, According to the State of Vermont Joint Fiscal Legislative Office, UVM is getting $3.9M more than last year. That's after $5.4M stimulus, without which we have a $1.5M gap. Not really grounds for 109 layoffs.

If the revenue picture in early May is as we are currently projecting, we are proposing to take the following actions:

* Propose to the Board a FY 2010 general fund budget that is essentially level-funded in comparison to the FY 2009 budget.

OK. Does any UVM student know what this implies? Because I don't.

* Cancel plans for Phase II staff layoffs. We would use the stimulus or other one-time funds to pay the projected $1 million cost of not implementing these layoffs. We would then, over the course of FY 2010, achieve these savings via attrition. The previously announced Phase I staff layoffs and non-reappointments of lecturers will be implemented as planned except as noted below.

I have a better idea. Why don't you use the $1.1M you'd save in exec pay cuts to do this and why didn't you do that four months ago? And why are you "proposing" this and not announcing it as done?

*Reinvest $3.2 million in base funding in the instructional needs of academic units. The decisions as to how this money will be allocated will come in early May after a meeting of the Academic Quality Assurance Task Force, which is co-chaired by faculty members who chair committees of the Faculty Senate. After reviewing the recommendations of this task force and the priorities put forth by the Deans, the President and the Provost will decide how these funds are to be allocated to the schools and colleges. The distribution of these funds will be based on academic priorities and will not necessarily result in the rescission of previously announced non-reappointments of lecturers. However, in some cases, the funding of academic priorities may result in some of these lecturers being reappointed. It should be noted that any hiring associated with the $3.2 million reinvestment will not count as having adversely affected the student-faculty ratios of academic units. We are making these investments knowing full well that they will affect the ratios but we will not have the complete understanding of the effect until the fall when course enrollment is finalized. At that time the President and the Provost will initiate a conversation regarding the ratios with the appropriate campus governance groups.

Great, we're getting through! But why aren't you just saying that you're going to use our funding to reinstate as many of the 109 jobs as possible? Why not commit? Or show, dare I say, leadership?

The original academic unit base budget reduction was $4.2 million, but after the $3.2 million reinvestment the net cut to the combined academic units will be about $1 million or 1.1% of the academic general fund operating budget. After considering the additional resources to cover the incremental increase in compensation costs, the total academic budget actually increases. Combined administrative unit budget reductions amount to 6.5%.

Just so we're all clear, this budget gap is a gap is where UVM isn't spending it's own money, not if we have it. If you spend all your money on an iphone, you won't have enough to pay your rent. That's what they're saying. Not to mention the fact that if you cut executive pay by 15% you'll save $1.1M more. Hello?

* Build on the work of many by making future budget processes even more transparent. In the fall, we will begin discussing with the campus governance groups the transparent means by which we will develop the FY 2011 budget.

This is great, but why no groups, dates, or plans? I'm not seeing much commitment here, though I'm glad they are at least addressing this demand.

The budget discussions over the past several months have been difficult for many of those involved as have similar discussions in organizations all around the globe. We have had to make some hard choices in this process but, in the end, I am confident that the University will be much better positioned to move forward into the future.

Lest we forget, according to Fogel himself, UVM's budget problems are *not* due to the economy. They're due to administrative mismanagement (peoplesoft, etc.). I think the administration should be the ones to pay for it. Don't you?

UVM, we have the money!

2009-04-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

Hi all -

Yesterday I spoke with the State of Vermont Joint Legislative Fiscal Office to get the latest budget numbers and didn't really get a chance to talk about them yet as things have been happening so fast. So, I'm going to pass them on to you here.

Last year, the legislature passed UVM a total of $43.3M.

This year, the legislature is passing UVM a total of $47.2M. That is *$3.9M more* than last year. $5.4M of this year's cash is from the federal stimulus package and is a one-time dose. So, let's say the administrative whiners are right and we shouldn't that money for jobs. That still only leaves a budget gap of $1.5M down from last year.

For a university of our size, $1.5M short doesn't warrant laying off 109 people. What's more, an administrative pay cut of 15% could eat another $1.1 million. So, what say we do that, eat the remaining $400,000 dollars by not buying paper clips for a year and send 109 back to work!

Tired, but happy,
Joanna

PS. If you're not already on the facebook group, join it!
http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?oid=53137243463#/group.php?gid=53137243463

Speak-Out and Rally against Layoffs and Arrests

2009-04-23T06:57:00.002-07:00

From the faculty...

TODAY
12 noon
Bailey-Howe Library
UVM
Speak-Out and Rally against Layoffs and Arrests

Last night, after ducking out the backdoor, President Fogel ordered that students engaged in a peaceful sit-down protest in the hallway of Waterman be arrested. As of 11:30 last night, 34 students had been arrested and cited for trespassing. Trespassing for sitting in a hallway in the administration of a public university? Trespassing for standing up against the downsizing of students' educations?

Join Students Stand Up and their many faculty and staff supporters today for a rally and speak-out, 12 noon, in front of Bailey-Howe library. Help us tell President Fogel he can't trespass on our rights and downsize UVM education!

Can't make the speak-out? Make calls:

President Fogel: Office Phone ? 802 656-3186; Home Phone ? 802 864 5738; Email ? dmfogel@uvm.edu

Vice President of Finance Richard Cate ? Office 802 656-0219

UVM Trustees ? trustees@uvm.edu

For more info, and to send messages of support for the students involved in the action check out the facebook group: UVM students in support of budget cuts from the top: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=46372724726

UVM Occupation & Sit In

2009-04-23T06:57:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone.

It would be hard to recount all the events yesterday from 1pm to 1am, so I recommend you check our twitter feed for details. http://twitter.com/studentsStandUp

The long-short of it is that 8 students occupied and locked themselves into the President's wing at UVM just prior to our planned sit in. Then at 3pm 100+ students descended upon Waterman and sat in and supported the occupiers. Negotiations inside were intense, but futile. Fogel left and said he was coming back, and then drove off to a party and had all the occupiers arrested. The Sit-Iners were told that if we didn't leave the building at 10pm we'd be arrested. We amassed a massive support rally outside the sit in of some 300 people. Fogel closed the building early, locked all the doors and staged cops at every entrance, but none of them entered the building until 10:45pm. We were cheering and chanting back and forth (inside and outside) for about an hour. When the police show up and issued a notice of trespassing, some of us tried to leave and got out, others were forcibly pulled back by the cops. The students that refused to leave were 26 more arrests. The rest of us joined the singing, chanting, and cheering outside until they were all released.

The Faculty are stepping up for a rally TODAY.
12 noon
Bailey-Howe Library
UVM
Speak-Out and Rally against Layoffs and Arrests
I'll send out a facebook event on this. If you're not already on the group, join it!
http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?oid=53137243463#/group.php?gid=53137243463

Please see photos of sit in here on the group page and news coverage all over the place. And follow that twitter feed!

Tired, but happy,
Joanna

PS. More News at http://vtflatlander.blogspot.com

Speak Out, if you can't Sit In!

2009-04-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

Wedesday at 5pm on the North side of the Davis Center (where the walk out rally was), UVM and Burlington community members will gather to show support for the 109 staff and faculty losing thier jobs. This will be a vigil and speak out and an opportunity for those who can't sit in to show thier solidarity with UVM community during these difficult times. We welcome staff, faculty, parents, alumni, and area representatives to support each other and learn more about the situation.

Get live updates on the sit in and speak out at:

http://twitter.com/studentsStandUp

To get these texted to your phone, text "on studentsStandUp" to 40404!

UVM Sit In & Twitter

2009-04-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

New SSU twitter feed at

http://twitter.com/studentsStandUp

Stay tuned for live updates on UVM sit in and the UVM layoffs by texting "on studentsStandUp" to 40404. (Watch the uppercase!)

Sit In, Baby!

Remember how the Walk-Out was a smashing success?! Ready to take it to the next level?! We're kicking it up a notch. On Wednesday at 2:45pm we're meeting on the 1st floor or the Davis Center to sit in!

Coffee with Fogel & The Pathetic Reinvestment Plan

2009-04-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

Trustees Meeting, Faculty Senate Meeting & The Pathetic Reinvestment Plan

Monday morning a sub-committee of the trustees met to discuss the UVM
budget cuts. We heard some interesting things like when Dan Fogel said
"We don't think there's a problem with class sizes" (in reference to
next year). Then a woman explaining the stimulus money said that the
money was meant to be used for jobs, and went on to list projects UVM
would use it for, none of which included jobs.

So, as you may know, trustee meetings are public meetings with public
comment periods. SSU politely requested time on the agenda last week and
was ignored. Yesterday we quietly and politely asked again for an
opportunity to address the board and were denied. But the thing is, we
had these zillion petitions burning in our pockets that had to be
presented to the board. So just before the break, two rock star SSUers
stood up, addressed the board and gave them the petitions. They had
everyone's rapt attention. The message was heard and the petitions were
delivered.

That night at the Faculty Senate meeting Fogel presented a plan to
commit $2 million of the $11 million in stimulus funds to academics as
part of their shiny new Strategic Reinvestment plan. (I have dubbed this
the Pathetic Reinvestment Plan as two-elevenths is pretty lame). But
this is a victory for us, and we should celebrate that. This information
was reported by Tim Johnson in the BFP the
next day.

Several faculty have told me they were afraid to speak out at that
faculty meeting and that the atmosphere was extremely tense. The next
day Fogel claimed that no such plan exists at all. Asked for
documentation on it repeatedly, and he says there is none. When I told
him we couldn't be expected to take it on faith he said "that's your
problem." But the truth is that it continues to be his problem so long
as we make it that way.

Let's revisit Obama's intent for the stimulus money. Obama wouldn't give
any state, any stimulus money unless they restored higher ed funding.
And he said the stimulus was to put people to work. So, it's easy to
deduce that higher ed was his #1 priority, and jobs a very close second.
So, I would think I'd be safe to argue that jobs in higher ed would be
at the very top of his list. However, UVM has decided that it won't be
using the $11 million in stimulus for higher ed jobs. It might use $2
million - we'll see. Thereby UVM is defying the spirit of the law and
Obama's intent. At the trustees meeting members droned on and on about
only tapping the endowment when it was consistent with the donors'
intent. How is this any different? Oh, and why did we have a deficit to
begin with? The recession? Nope! It was administrative mismanagement,
remember?

Bottom line: We got their attention, but won't settle for The Pathetic
Reinvestment Plan. What we want is 109 jobs back and $11 million in
academic reinvestment, just like President Obama does. We won't settle
for two-elevenths.

Coffee w/ Fogel

Tuesday night the reclusive Dan Fogel made an
appearance for public comment at the Livak Fireplace Lounge - possibly
the tiniest venue on campus - for one hour. Here's a few notes from SSU and myself combined:
* the $2.5 million is now "up to $2.5 million" - he's already backpedaling
* the 2.5 millions in stimulus money is going to unknown places
according to Fogel, all he knows is " it will be reinvested in
academics"
* he is taking a $9000 pay "decrease" but not the 16- 20% pay-cut some
of his colleagues are taking, and there was no mandate or organized policy along these lines
* he blamed the departments for not regulating their part-time faculty hiring, and claimed no responsiblty on this as he doesn't "micro-manage" them.
* how are the college deans being held accountable for their actions?
He can't answer
* he advocates for the union, then uses them as a scapegoat to blame
for poorly directing their funds, and subtly accused them or sending out misinformation

Coverage

Here's a very silly Editorial by the BFP:
hhttp://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20090412/OPINION/904120302/1006
And here's my response:
http://vtflatlander.blogspot.com/2009/04/earth-to-free-press-do-research.html

Awesome cartoon by Nancy Hayden
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/elephantCartoon.jpg

Walk Out Video

2009-04-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

Another video of the walkout courtesy of the Cynic.

Earth to Free Press: Do the Research

2009-04-13T08:17:00.001-07:00

Congratulations, Burlington Free Press on your continuing pursuit to spread ignorance. That cowardly, misleading, and regurgitated editorial yesterday was really a giant leap forward for your mission. You must be really proud.

(photo credit: Tim Boyle)

The Free Press editorial board apparently thinks the UVM students and the 109 people laid off should be protesting "the recession" and not the administration who are just "the messengers". Despite the fact that the administration has already acknowledged publicly that most of our budget gap is actually due to mismanagement, not the recession. And what's more, I'm not sure a "recession" is a thing you protest - it doesn't have thoughts and feelings of its own.

We actually have a pragmatic and solution-oriented agenda, contrary to what the BFP would have you think. The BFP has repeatedly suggested that no alternatives are being put forth, despite being informed otherwise on countless occasions. What do suggestions like:

Tapping the endowment

Returning administrative bonuses from fiscal year 2008 and 2009 to the UVM general fund.

Returning administrative salary pool to the 2002 levels

sound like to you? They sound like alternatives to me. In fact, that's what they were designed to sound like.

The BFP also says that executive pay cuts are unfair because "no other pool of employees is being asked to forgo pay raises". First of all, no other pool of employees got $1 million in bonuses. Second of all, no other pool of employees can afford it. Third of all, it isn't up to any other pool of employees. And fourth, what makes you think the employees wouldn't consider a pay cut to save each others jobs? Why assume we're just as selfish as the administration?

They go on to say that "asking to review all the budget options considered before the cuts were made is like doing a price comparison on firefighting equipment during a fire because the hoses they have on hand might cause water damage to the houses next door." That is totally false. The State of Vermont just restored the entire UVM budget gap, for at least two years, so, we have a minimum of two years to decide. I think they can squeeze it in their schedule to shoot us an email.

Burlington Free Press, here's my advice to you: do research. Talk to people on all sides of the issue. Think about what it means to be a journalist. You're going broke and when you have lay-offs, you should hope that people treat you with a lot more open-mindedness and compassion that you're treating us.

Walk Out & Trustees Mtg

2009-04-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

Walk Out
You are awesome!!! Friends, today is a good day. Around 2000 people protested the UVM budget cuts yesterday. (See links for lots of online pix and videos below.) I want to thank everyone who participated. There were tons of students and plenty of faculty representation, too. We saw less staff but got a lot of stealthy staff "thank yous" for our efforts. For those of you who didn't come out, you really missed a an amazing opportunity to feel like the community is behind you. It was very very moving. Please join us next time.

Outcome: Cate said they are considering some of our demands. That's what we have right now. The scuttlebutt on campus is that the 18 phase one staff lay-offs will stand, the 91 contract non-renewals are up in the air, and the phase two lay-offs of 26 more staff, which were always only a possibly may not happen now. So, it's all very murky right now.

(photo credit: Tim Boyle)

Keep the pressure on! - Trustees Meeting
On Monday morning at 8am we will be having our usual oatmeal breakfast in the president's wing of Waterman (which featured special guest star VP Richard Cate, today). At 8:30 there's a trustees meeting at which Students Stand Up will be presenting their case to the board. We'll also be there to watch and listen and support the presenters. We'd love for you to join us. Signs are good, so long as they're not offensive - we want to change the trustees minds, not piss them off. Meeting is in 427A Waterman, 8:30am Monday.

Coffee with Fogel: On Deck
Reclusive President Dan Fogel doesn't make tons of public appearances, but he'll be available from 7-9 on Tuesday. This is your chance to show up and tell him what you think. I'll send out more info on this Monday.

Walk Out Coverage...

UVM students plan walkout to protest job cuts
Vermont Public Radio

UVM protest the biggest yet
BurlingtonFreePress.com

Video on BFP

Facebook pix
http://tinyurl.com/c6lmvt
&
http://tinyurl.com/cyg64z

Budget Cuts Prompt Student Walkout At UVM - WPTZ

WPTZ video
http://www.wptz.com/video/19142271/

Thanks again, everyone!
Joanna

Pics of Walk out

2009-04-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

(photo credit: Burlington Free Press)

More Pix

Video of Walk Out

2009-04-10T06:54:00.001-07:00

Rally Was Awesome!

2009-04-09T14:51:00.001-07:00

The walk out was a huge success. More later, but in the meantime...
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20090409/NEWS02/90409032

BFP Starts Taking Thier Head Out of Thier Ass

2009-04-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

Now if only UVM would follow suit. Tim Johnson weighed in today with some of the tough questions. Nothing on the news side yet, but stay posted.

The Burlington Free Press Thinks Lay-Offs are Funny

2009-04-08T09:00:00.001-07:00

The Burlington Free Press thinks lay-offs are funny. I wonder how they'll feel about them when it's their turn.

On Monday, UVM students, faculty, staff and others turned up for a Let them Eat Gruel protest breakfast in the president's wing of Waterman at UVM. It was a lively event with a lot of talk and excitement about the upcoming walk out where thousands of the UVM community are expected meet up in front of Bailey Howe Library to show their support for the 107 people losing their jobs - including my husband.

"Let them Eat Gruel" is a sort of mixed metaphor referring to Marie-Antoinette's famous pronouncement of "Let Them Eat Cake" prior to the French revolution. However, our protest breakfasts have consisted of oatmeal, hence the gruel. Obviously "gruel" is more commonly associated with Dickens which is part of the curriculum that will be cut out of the English Department this fall, should the Fogel Administration's cuts continue, and which makes this concept ironic and funny.

However, what the Burlington Free Press thinks is funny is that people are protesting the 107 lay-offs at all. BFP reporter Tim Johnson visited the event and his take home message was that UVM faculty are "well paid" and that UVM students shouldn't complain, because their oatmeal has maple syrup in it, after all. He also tried to prove superiority to said protesters by quoting Dickens? Repeatedly. I'm betting he's not the only one who knows Dickens as he then mentioned, that every middle schooler reads it, too. Oops. Not that anyone gives a crap.

Well, obviously the Burlington Free Press has the their best man on the job. Tim Johnson who apparently has a disdain for actually doing research on a project before writing it, later wrote an article on the event where he neglected to mention the acts we are protesting: the cut of 107 jobs, the tuition hikes, and the changing class sizes. He did mention softball and baseball, so kudos for that.

Unfortunately for him, the Burlington Free Press is going broke. And that's not just because they're a pathetic excuse for a news outlet. Across the country newspapers small and large are getting hammered. These past few months the Burlington Free Press has been engaging in mandatory two-week furloughs for all staff, no doubt including Mr. Johnson. So, when the lay-offs begin and the protests ensue, maybe we should all just obsess over some arcane literary reference instead of showing any kind of compassion for our common man.

What goes around, comes around.

UVM Faculty Meeting

2009-04-06T13:08:00.001-07:00

Finally someone put into pictures what I've been trying to say for months.

(Cartoonist Nancy Hayden)

Walk Out - Thursday, April 9th

2009-04-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

WALK OUT POSTER

Hello UVMers -

Hope you're all having a lovely Monday and thanks, to those of you at the protest breakfast this morning!

I just wanted to remind you all about the walk out happening this Thursday, April 9th at 1:30 where we'll all meet up in front of Baily Howe. There will be speakers, music and all kinds of interactive information about the issue.

Most importantly, Thursday will be a chance for us all to show support for our 107 fellow faculty and staff losing their jobs and for the students on who's backs this university is mismanaging our resources.

You have heard a lot about the UVM budget gap, and it is important for you all to have the latest information. The UVM budget gap no longer exists. Yes, you read that right. Last week we learned that, as part of the stimulus package, states are required by the federal government to contribute as much to higher education this year, as they did in 2006. If they don't, the state gets no stimulus money - so, it's a deal breaker. We went from a shortfall of $14.7 million to $0. The UVM budget gap has been wiped out. And yet we have yet to hear word that the university will be sending 107 Vermonters back to work, eliminate the tuition hike, reinstate normal classes and class sizes, or the baseball and softball teams.

Meanwhile, UVM has 40 executive positions clearing $150K. And unlike private and public organizations in trouble, around the country, won't even consider a modest, temporary executive pay cut that could save dozens of jobs.

Show the administration we care about our teachers, our staff, and our students. Show them that we won't sit quietly in class while they run a mock with our budget and our school. Walk out on April 9th at 1:30 and meet up in front of Baily-Howe.

For more information, please consider joining the following facebook groups:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=46372724726&ref=ts
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=53137243463&ref=ts

I'm also archiving this information on my blog at:
http://vtflatlander.blogspot.com/

See you Thursday,
Joanna

Bill Passes House

2009-04-03T11:32:00.001-07:00

The Funding bill has passed the house (without the Turner amendment) and moves to the Senate. The Turner Amendment will go in as a resolution.

Just In... Bill will Eliminate UVM Budget Gap, If Passed

2009-04-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hello UVM Community -

This just in...

The bill I just told you about in the Vermont State House will ELIMINATE the BUDGET GAP, if passed. We currently have a $14.7 (million) gap. This bill will restore $5 plus two more infusions of $5.4. That's the whole thing - no more deficit. For more info...
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/deficitWiped.pdf

Call/Email your legislatures and tell them:
-Please pass bill (H441)
-Thanks for allocating these vital funds to continue quality education at UVM & steady our state economy
- For the money to achieve it's intended effects, it's crucial that it be used to Put 107 Vermonters Back to Work and to hold executive pay in check during a crisis by cutting it 15% - please ensure this happens!

Find your legislator here:
http://eqfed.org/vfmtf/leg-lookup/search.html

Sorry for this rapid-fire info and thanks so much for your support!

Joanna

Walk Out & We Should be Celebrating!

2009-04-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

1) Walk Out!
Mark your calendars. April 9th at 1:30 pm the UVM Community will walk out in protest of the draconian measures the Fogel Administration is taking. Here's the deets:
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/walkOutPoster.pdf

2) Budget gap cut in half. Fogel, why aren't you celebrating?

So, wouldn't it be weird if UVM's budget problems were drastically reduced but they still cut 107 jobs? It would be like they just preferred spending on crap like peoplesoft and executive salaries, than keeping your awesome teachers and department staff employed. Well, here's a funny story for you...

UVM thought the budget gap was $14.7 million. $5 mill of that was because the state was like "we have no money, let's not pay for higher education anymore".

But then Obama was all "if you want stimulus money, you can't cut higher ed. You have to at least pay as much as you did in 2006". So, that's $8 million of oh yes, we can!

So, now the budget gap for FY10 is down to:
~~$6.7 million~~ $4.3 million
Wowza, that is less than half what is was before. Cool! So, we're giving everyone their jobs back, right? Uh, right?

The whole spirit of the stimulus requirement is that states aren't supposed to be cutting into education. So cutting educators, instead of stupid stuff like executive salaries, may be legal but is contrary to the spirit of the law.

UVM is a big place. We can make up $6.7 mill by cutting exec pay and skimping on office supplies. How about we call on the administration to celebrate the good news by giving everyone back their jobs.

3) Wanted: A Decent Education at UVM
Check out the awesome posters going up all over campus...

WANTED: Victorian Lit at UVM
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/lit.pdf

WANTED A UVM Where Students are Names, not Numbers
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/namesNotNumbers.pdf

WANTED A Mentor for the Next Great American Novelist
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/novelist.pdf

WANTED Civil Engineering at UVM
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/civilEngineering.pdf

4) Get the Facts!
United Academics Fact Sheet
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/get_the_facts_students.pdf

5) Don't forget to Write to your friends...
dmfogel@uvm.edu
trustees@uvm.edu

Juicy Downsizing Info

2009-03-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

Below are some of the juicier aspects of the UVM downsizing that you don't already know. On campus we hear a lot of bullsh&t from Fogel & Co that nobody will notice the downsizing. Well, obviously the 107 of us without jobs will. But it looks like most of the students will, too. Here's some nifty factoids to whip at out parties this weekend:

1) We have 26 vice presidents. When Fogel came in 6 years ago, it was 3. I feel more vice-presidented already.

2) The English department will have no 100-level writing courses at all, and no 100-level 19th and 20th century British, Irish, and American literature courses. Which is weird because it's called the "English" department. Talk about betraying your roots, Mr. Poet Prez.

3) Poli Sci will have no International Politics classes. What an awesome way to prepare students for globalization.

4) In Anthro, 12 faculty will be responsible for 300 majors and the new International/Global Studies major. See #3.

5) Civil and Environmental Engineering used to have 9 faculty and 135 undergraduate majors. Now there's 8 faculty and 208 undergraduate majors. The 8 are being expected to cover 12 sections of intro and upper-level classes, with capacities of 30 to 80 students, and, if they do, might lose accreditation.

6) Classics was forced to dumb down their classes to boost enrollment. But I'm sure that Seneca and Cato would've approved of that.

7) The provost's office decided to backfill our 91 peer-reviewed expert lecturers being cut, with a scab labor force of 50-60 undergrads. I'm sure it will be exactly the same, tho. I'd rather have a work-study teaching my Intro to Poetry than a recent winner of the National Poetry Series anyway.

8) According to the Registrar, there will be a 14% decrease in available seats for students in classes with fewer than 40 students--and a 40% increase in seats available in classes of 150 to 300 students. Seriously, there is no ironic joke to be made here because it is so incredibly lame in its own right.

Tell 'em
Alumni Letter
Student Letter
Parent Letter
Staff & Faculty, I know you already know what to say.

send it to:
dmfogel@uvm.edu and trustees@uvm.edu
I like to send 'em one every few days just so they don't get lonely.

Walk Out
April 9th at 1:30 pm.
If you're there, you're square.

UVM President Fogel: The Trick of Resilience

2009-03-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

The President of UVM, Daniel Fogel, began his career not as a pencil-sharpening executive assistant, or a Madison Avenue wannabe marketing major, but as a floppy-haired, bearded, Ithaca-loving, camping, hiking, English doctoral student at Cornell University. He was extremely fond of Henry James and published two books of literary criticism. He also produced a single volume of original poetry called "Trick of Resilience" (Ithaca House Press, 1975).

Fogel's own poetry is cerebral, some of it excessively worded in the style of James, but most notably, it has a hesitant, but persistent optimism. Much of his subject matter is about enjoying nature. It's quite fascinating to read "A letter, 1885", in juxtaposition to recent events:

I address these sentiments to you not
In your capacity
As President, American Wire
Company

But as one sensible being to
Another...

...The Human Needs with us
Are paramount. And yet
We do object. It is
Enough to get,

But too much if our getting makes us less
Than what we are: - Christian
Creatures, and benevolent...

Clearly the younger Fogel thought we must lead with compassion, not with the bottom line. He goes on:

Have we done those things in tending our stock
That, by their cruelty,
Betray our Moral Nature?...

...There'd be
Some small expense,

But much to gain. The consideration's
This: - healthy herds of steer
Spell greater profit...

Indeed, Fogel seems quite offended by the idea that a "small expense" would be avoided, at the risk of the health of the herd.

How can we not reflect upon the UVM herd he leads? I find it confusing, to think of this Fogel who believes leading with "benevolence" is the greatest profit, said only weeks ago that "job preservation is not a priority". How can this same person refuse to make the small expense of an executive pay cut to continue to maintain a healthy herd, solely in the name of profit?

It's confusing that this "sensible being" would think that cutting 107 jobs (16 lay-offs and 91 contracts not renewed) was preferable to a modest executive pay cut. This strikes me as an action that is "less than what we are". It just doesn't seem like he's putting the "human needs" "as paramount". Instead he's put sustaining current executive compensation as paramount to the livelihoods of 107 people. I suppose that's his trick of resilience.

Fun With Fogel

2009-03-06T07:38:00.001-08:00

1) Zing!
I hope you enjoyed this week's barrage of scathing coverage of the Fogel Administration. (links below). I wonder how those went down with thier morning cheerios?

2) Do Something Tiny to Help Us Big Time.
So, one of the coolest parts about doing this organizing bit is meeting amazing students who are rallying to support the UVM staff and faculty. A group of them have developed letters to their parents, asking parents (and alumi) to write to the trustees. And they've written a sample letter. It's short. Please read it and send it. And forward it to UVM parents and alumni you know. It'll take you five seconds and I'll give you a cupcake.

Letter to You From Students:
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/dearUVMParents.pdf

Letter to UVM Trustees
http://www.uvm.edu/~jggrossm/dontDownsize/dearFogelFromParents.pdf

Trustees' trusty email address: trustees@uvm.edu

You think this doesn't affect you? If you went to UVM, some of your favorite professors where probably just let go. (Dozens of adjuncts were not renewed - the administration won't release the actual number.) If you're sending a child there, their education just got worse and your tuition just went up. Do I have your attention yet?

3) Fun with Fogel
President Fogel is going on a radio call-in show tomorrow. No, that's not a belated christmas card. It's for real. He'll be on Vermont Edition tomorrow, Friday the 6th, at noon. Here's the number: (800) 639-2211. Call him and ask him why he'd rather lay-off staff and raise tuition than follow the lead of every other CEO in the country and take a pay cut. Maybe he's just confused.

Cheers,
Joanna

PS. Here's those juicy links:

Video: Speak-out Coverage
http://www.wptz.com/video/18856772/

Administrative costs hurt UVM
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20090305/OPINION/903050303/1006

Fogel's Folly
http://www.7dvt.com/2009fogels-folly

Hit the Road, Dan Fogel
http://www.vermontcynic.com/news/2009/03/03/Opinion/Hit-The.Road.Daniel.Fogel-3655644.shtml

UVM should cut pay before jobs
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20090304/OPINION/903040303/1006

Speak Out Against Lay-offs

2009-03-03T12:45:00.001-08:00

Last week UVM President Fogel claimed that:

* He couldn't avoid the layoffs
(see exec pay, cuz I think you could)

* The non-renewals of adjuncts were routine
(you mean usually you cut every adjunct in the school?)
and they brought the school to preciously agreed targets
(come again?)

* the bonuses were ok b/c they were for extra work
(that's weird cuz, I don't remember getting a honking $50K for my overtime)

Now the campus needs to hear from you.
Join us for a speak-out on the steps of Bailey-Howe, Wednesday, March 4, 12:30-1:30 pm

Here's some funny things:

* My husband's teaching 8 classes this year and they're not renewing his contract. But he's not being counted as "laid off". Same for another 20-something adjuncts, *in English alone*. How many of your teachers are really getting sacked? Where's the numbers, Fogel?

* Uh...you're cutting a jillion teachers, and then adding more students. How does that work exactly? I'm going to say...badly.

Come out Wednesday and tell the administration what you think.

UVM Cuts Jobs Before Pay. Unlike The Private Sector.

2009-02-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

Update: Please see the Burlington Free Press for this piece!

Dear Burlington Free Press -

I was completely baffled this morning when I read your editorial entitled "UVM facing down difficult choices". You say that "Those who protest the cuts without offering realistic alternatives cling to the unrealistic notion that the university can somehow escape the harsh economic realities that afflict nearly everyone outside of academia." As a matter of interest, the word "alternatives," like "choices," implies many options - look it up. Now, if the protesters weren't offering alternatives, that might have been counter-productive.

However, if you had attended, or had even read about, the protests on February 20th, then you know that those protesters are promoting the same measures being used largely "outside of academia". Companies and organizations, such as the State of Vermont and Hewlett-Packard, are creating executive pay cuts that allow a small number of comfortable people at the top to make a modest sacrifice to save the livelihoods of many others.

President Fogel has made something of a show of insisting that his executives be treated with private sector style panache. A good example is the nearly $1 million dollars in bonuses he paid them over the past four years, despite UVM's non-profit status.

According to itself, UVM spends $6,931,241 on salaries over 150K. Let's say the average UVM job being cut pays $30K. Now let's say that benefits cost 40% of that which is $12K. That means that, under said conditions, a one-year executive pay cut of:

* 5% could save 8+ jobs

* 10% could save 16+ jobs

* 15% could save 24+ jobs

This is not even considering the fact that many jobs cut on the 20th weren't even entitled to benefits, so they come cheaper. Nor does it consider the numerous recent executive vacancies, or even other points in the pay scale where cuts could begin.

So, when it suits him, President Fogel does what the private sector does. But when it's inconvenient, he'd rather not. In fact, President Fogel says that he'd leave if UVM cuts executive pay. Exactly what kind of leadership is a hypocritical and self-serving, ultimatum?

You can say that you think it's more important for 38 executives to clear $150K than for 24 people to keep their jobs. It won't endear you to this community, but you can say it. But you should know that it's factually inaccurate to say that those who protest aren't offering a realistic

alternative. They are offering the most realistic alternative.

Sincerely,

Joanna Grosssman

Burlington, VT

jggrossm@yahoo.com

I Washed My Hair With Olive Oil

2008-11-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

If you're a New York fashionista with giant curly hair, you are almost definitely part of the Devachan cult. This is no joke. Devachan is not a salon, but a Departure Lounge that changed my life! It's a - er - salon that specializes in curly hair therapy. It basically gave me control of what my head looks like. (If you have straight hair, I hate you.) Anyway, their method and products are legend amongst the curled, and they're totally unique. So, for someone for whom frizz can warrant it's own subway fare, this was a major improvement in my lifestyle.

The thing is, Devachan is on Broadway & Spring (another one just opened round the corner) so, I've had bad hair going on two years now. People don't use the devachan method up here nor sell their products, so what's a City girl gone Vermont to do with frizz? Live with it? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'd been mildly annoyed by the state of my hair for some time, and I think some of my new friends up here have probably never seen it down. But it was Sarah Palin that put me over the edge. No, I'm not talking about her own stunning tresses. For Christ's sake - the RNC pays for traveling hair and make up for her - I can't compete with that shit. What I'm talking about is that I dressed up as her for Halloween (it was scary). So I straightened my hair to do her junior prom beehive. This, friends, was the final bobby pin in the frizz.

So, I'm reading a lot of Italian literature lately and the idea hits me: olive oil. My hair is in a perpetual state of dryness. Aren't these $20/bottle products designed to put those oils back in my hair? Why not cut to the chase?

Alert: this paragraph is gross.
I dumped a 1/2 cup of organic olive oil on my head in the shower (talk about roughing it) and combed it through to the ends. (I have a lot of hair.) I'm not going to lie to you. The first day it was a little greasy and I was compulsively washing my hands. But now it's smoother and shinier than it has ever been and I don't smell like an olive press anymore. Hey - we've got to suffer for fashion - just don't tell my stylist.

Pre-apocalyptic Pics

2008-10-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

Here's more fall pics as we prepare the garden for post-apocalyptic use.

Grapes, Shoulder Injuries and Sarah Palin

2008-10-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I hurt my shoulder and it wasn't a result of an angry outburst after Sarah Palin informed me that I should rest assured she'd prevent Iran from creating a second holocaust. After all, who wouldn't want a fearmongering "hockey mom" to have a 1 in 6 chance in being president?

So, today I'm home healing. I'll be fine so don't bother worrying. But I took some pics of our Fall yard to share with you. They're pretty.

Beans are still rocking. Grapes coming in.

I'm doing some hardcore seedsaving this year. And not
just cuz there might be no stores by next year.

The Jerusalem Artichokes are like 20 feet tall.

Florida, yeah, I'm talkin to you!

2008-09-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

I know you all read this. I'm not making you do it, but you obviously want to know what I have to say, so here you are. Maybe that says something about the Sun Sentinel, or whatever your newspaper is called. Maybe you just like to stay in touch with us wee ones. That's cool. Well, I'm getting in touch with you as part of a campaign to convince you to do something nice for you kids and grandkids, which, based on previous evidence, seems incredibly likely!

Now, you're going to see the video below and half of you are going to say, uh...we're not Jewish. Well, I have news for you. You kinda are. Here's how: a) you live in Florida and you're not Cuban. b) Green married into the tribe. c) if you're last name is such that people always think you're Jewish or it sounds like a German dessert, then you're in. Congratulations. We have gift bags by the door.

So my cause is about voting for a candidate who wants to keep your country out of debt, keep jobs, make it so the rest of the world doesn't hate us (which is really pretty serious if you think about it), create some oversight so we can retire one day too, and wants us all to have good health care, regardless of if we become doctors and lawyers. (Take deep breaths.) I only ask that you keep an open mind and remember a time when you weren't comfortable and you and your friends and neighbors struggled check to check and think about how you want your kids, grandkids, and beyond to experience that. Because it's not lookin' so good right now.

For like 10 jillion years people have been telling me I remind them of Sarah Silverman; I now see the resemblance and I think I worship her. Is that narcissistic? Oh well. Here you go:

If you're so inspired, please enlist others in the cause. Happy Voting!

Peeling Apples

2008-09-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to be the cliche, we went apple picking this weekend. Here's Steve starting the applesauce.

Renovating

2008-09-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

So, what could be more flatlander than buying a 100 year old house in Burlington, Vermont and then renovating it? I guess maybe turning it into a shoe store. Anyway, we're busting out our linoleum and Formica kitchen and making it pretty. I'll use this space to chronicle these adventures.

From kitchen renovation

My mp3 Player & the Self-Destruction of the CEO of Mobiblu Electronics

2008-03-26T05:49:00.001-07:00

I can be a little combative. I've been described as defensive or even arrogant. Sure. But this week I experienced a role-reversal so profound it could stun a team of oxen in its tracks.

I'm not really a jerk. I mean, talk a good game, but as a rule, when people come to me for help, I always give it graciously. It's just more satisfying than being an asshole.

So, I have a little mp3 player I bought online called the US2, made by Mobiblu. If you just clicked on the company's link you'll see the website is in Korean. I bought it in English. That is to say the site was in English when I bought the US2. It's not anymore. Do I think that's odd? A little, but I already own it, so there's nothing for it. Anyway, the mp3 player is only 2 years old and it's been a little flaky. So, I decided to download the driver and reinstall it. Except, for better or worse, I can't read Korean. So, I emailed the company. I tell them I have a MobiBlu US2 and I need the driver but I can't find it on the website. Could they send me a link to it? This, friends, is neither a difficult nor an unusual tech support request. If anything this is what we in the industry would call "low hanging fruit" because the customer can fix it themselves. I swear to whatever may be holy that the email correspondence I am about to relay to you is 100% real, truthful, and complete. You can judge it for yourself.

answer dude : can you find a model number or send a pix of it?

Yeah, it's a little unusual that the MobiBlu tech support parade themselves as "answer dude", so I check. The email address and website are legit.

me: It's a US2. Also, I need to get a new mini USB adapter. How can I get that?

Make a note. I'm now asking how to buy *another* product from MobiBlu. (A replacement part).

answer dude: we have the adapter on the website (accessories)along with the answers page for the firmware

Also note that, unlike the website, this conversation in not in Korean.

me: As the "answer dude" it would be your job to send me links as I obviously haven't found them myself. Please do so.

Now you might say that was excessive force. Maybe. But I think we've all had interns, trainees, or even children, who just aren't taking something seriously. I didn't want to play games. I just want the driver.

answer dude: thanks for straightening me out about my job! i will be in training for
30 days to learn this new part of my job...

Yes, I also thought that was weird. I triple-checked the email address and website.

me: Okay, well I don't really want to wait 30 days. No offense. Could you please ask your supervisor or someone to send me the links if you can't? If you know where they are on the just, please, copy and paste the links or have someone else do it.

answer dude: boy are you demanding, we told you they are on the mobiblu.com website, you have to go to the site, the file is too large to send as an
attachment, we don't know what device you have and you have to do
somethings for yourself. I am the supervisor and I drafted the last email

Okay, why don't you know what device I have when I already told you it's the US2? Obviously, I've already found the main url, but can't find the link in it. You are the supervisor?! At this point I'm pretty sure I'll be purchasing and ipod sometime soon, but I have this hang up about wasting things - especially electronics. I really want to try and get my money's worth even though my effort is clearly futile.

me: Hello Answer Dude -

I have already told you:
a) I have the US2 model
b) I cannot find these things on your website and asked for direct links.

If you don't know where they are on the website please forward me to someone in your company who does. If you do know please include the links.

Sorry to break it to you, Dude, but as far as IT customer service goes, this is not even close to demanding. I'm in the business myself. Thus far you've only convinced me not to by another MobiBlu product.

I'm basically trying to get him to flip to the page in his script designed for dealing with an irate customer, to put this thing to bed.

answer dude: ok so why should we care if you aren't going to spend any money? we told you the link mobiblu.com then the data page and go to your model, by
number...there are several models of us2,

also, we do not care what you think of us, we have tons of happy
customers and lots of raves about our customer service...but we believe
that it is better to teach a man to "fish" for the information he needs
instead of just hand him a mackerel....think about it

we do not know what "link" you want

Apparently he lost that page of his script. Along with his reading comprehension, short-term memory and common sense.

me: Is this a joke? I think you will have a lot to learn in your training.

a) You didn't tell me anything in the first paragraph below other than the main url which I obviously knew otherwise I couldn't have reached you to begin with. Read the emails for yourself.
b) You obviously don't even know where this fabled link is or you would've tried to help a customer find it.
c) It's much more expensive for a company to get new customers then to keep current ones. Criticizing a customer isn't the way to go.

You definitely didn't teach me how to fish. Nor did you teach me the language your website is in. Please pass me to another service rep. I have paid for this product and expect a driver. Thank you, Dude!

Why I actually continued to delude myself that I might actually get the driver at this point, I don't know. I just knew they must have it and it made me crazy that I couldn't just download it.

answer dude: read this very carefully, obviously you did not in the past, we are mobiblu.biz

go to mobiblu.com that is the main site in Korea!!! the us2 is not the model number, there is a number on the back of the device, we never sold the US2 so we do not know what the number is. we can't tell you what we do not know. you did not find us there, we are only one of the links there! and, do not tell us your opinion, we do not care at all about your silly ideas.

I've actually *reduced* the size of the font he really used. I plead with you, the reader, to click on the mobiblu.biz url and learn all about Tom Chef's custom party menus. At least they're in English. Also, just FYI, MobiBlu really does sell the US2. I truly, honestly, wish they didn't. But they do. I *am* known to have silly ideas, however. Like, for example, thinking I could extract a driver from this wackadoodle.

answer dude: http://mobiblu.com/data/data_board.html?search1=&search2=&search3=&tb=zbbs_down_firmware&sw=v&rowid=17

this is the link, you could have found it yourself as we instructed but
you are an idiot

OMG, It's a miracle! They *do* sell the US2! *And* they figured out I want the driver! Thank Jeeba! *I* must be the idiot. Well, being an idiot, I had to get the last word.

me: good luck with your customer service career. You have a bright future there.

I couldn't resist. But I'm glad I didn't because of these last gems my comment elicited.

answer dude: please just buy an ipod, our products need owners with a minimum IQ of 75, Apple will hold your hand and lie to you and tell you how smart you are

answer dude: since your first nasty email, you have been emailing with the CEO of the company. we are doing just fine with our service

And there you have it, folks. The CEO. The CEO of MobiBlu called me an idiot and told me to buy an ipod. I wasn't sure what to make of it. So naturally, I forwarded it to all my friends and the logic breaks down into to two camps: 1) He's not the CEO. 2) He is the CEO. All my friends think he is not the CEO. They say this guy is a self-destructive wingnut speeding towards a bloody end. A total pathaloge who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a headset. One who is bored and angry and should really choose an alternate profession. And maybe should consider taking up yoga or bird watching.

Then there's the other camp: me. I think this this guy really is the CEO. I just know it. I've always had a powerful intuition. Twice I've known someone was pregnant before they told me. It's the only thing I'm really naturally gifted at, to tell you the truth. So, I'll tell you why I think this guy is really the CEO. This is a small company. These days anyone can get some piece of shit built for cheap in China or India; you don't have to be Michael Dell. I could tell the company was small when I bought it; that didn't bother me - I've had mostly good experiences with electronics from small companies. Also who would hire this arrogant little shit to work with customers? He's got to be self-employed.

But I'm less concerned about how I know he's the CEO, than what it means for society at large, that a CEO of a successful consumer electronics company would actively seek to destroy his customer base. I used to work at the Red Onion Cafe on Church Street here in Burlington. We would try and keep the owners away from the customers because they were so mean to them. (We wanted tips!) The owners were burned out and just bitter and angry. They didn't associate social skills with success or failure financially. Is this guy just totally bitter and burned out? Could be.

When I first moved to Vermont working here was hard for me. Not the work, that was easy. But nobody used their Outlook calendars. We didn't get Blackberries. People took days to respond to email. Drove me up the freaking wall! But I had to admit that actually, physically speaking with someone did force me to think before I type.

A few months ago on NPR I heard a story about a woman studying a"Narcissism Index". She was gauging how today's generation is full of self-love, but failing miserably in relationships. They can't communicate with others. Blah blah blah. My generation's narcissism and digital dependence are a cliche, I know. But holy mother of god - to have our own caricature mirrored back at me - that's intense.

This guy doesn't care. He doesn't care about my happiness. He doesn't care about customer satisfaction. He doesn't care that he can't deal with other humans. He's a victim of the digital age. He knows that people nowadays will buy any piece of crap regardless. And he loves himself. He thinks his customer service is awesome!

I did, incidentally, eventually find their English support page on my own at web.mac.com/mobiblu/Site/PROTOCOL.html. It even offers to hold your hand.

***UPDATE***
Just in case anyone thought they changed their tune... Please see this thread on CNET.

Localvoracious

2008-03-10T13:05:00.001-07:00

I've already touched on the differences in eating in NYC and in VT for a flatlander. Is City Market my place of worship? Yes. But do I miss the 4 days/week year-round Union Square Farmer's Market? Naturally. Do I miss the variety of truffle oils? Of course. Do I miss Bleeker Street, home to Murray's Cheese, Oliver's, Wild Edibles and all other glorious things? C'mon.

But the trade-off for insanely fabulous selection, is the destruction of locality. I'm not saying you can't eat local in NYC. Blue Hill has some utopian farm in upstate that grows all its food. Some guy from the Times ate from just the 5 boroughs for a week or something last year and lived to tell the tale. It can be done. But it's not about can it be done. It's about - is it fun?

I've never been that much of a fan of the "localvore" movement. I mean, I love food. And I'm a vegetarian, and I try to buy organic, local food, for sure. I'm very interested in food ethics and all that. I detest fast food and packaged garbagey junk. But the localvore movement has always struck me as fadish, retail environmentalism. When a chef in California is writing a national bestselling cookbook about local cuisine, I've had enough. It just doesn't pass the smell test. But I tend to overthink these things and I've given more and more thought to the problem of eating locally whilst being a vegetarian. The truth of the matter is that eating local is the right thing to do, so do it I must.

I'm not expert, but you already know that eating local reduces fuel use, packaging, supports your local economy, and it's good for you because if you're eating eggs from your buddy's farm, he's more likely to be good to those chickens - ya know what I'm saying? You keep it in the family and there's an intangible rightness to that. Plus, I like to know where my food comes from so I know what I'm eating. @pesticides and hormones: you can wait outside, thanks.

All this to say that I'm trying to figure out how to be what could be construed as a localveggie, which was, for all intents and purposes, impossible in NYC. But it's not simple here either. Here's what I can tell you thus far. Joining a CSA is good. We are in the winter and summer shares for the Intervale. Two adult vegetarians can barely keep up. The Intervale, particularly in the summer, has that wholesome, Vermonty, salt of the earth that could make anyone want to sing camp songs. But the veggies are still wicked.

So, where art thou protein? This, my friends, is the clincher. How's a veggie gal to build her big, strong, kayaking biceps without eating soy products shipped ten zillion miles and grown on clear-cut rainforest? Ack! Well, I've consulted the Vermont Localvore website and they have two protein-rich listings which I'm going to try out: Rhapsody Tempeh, and Butterworks dried beans. I hate tempeh. I think it tastes like oversteeped tea. And I don't like waiting three hours to eat beans - that would be a commitment to the slow food movement. So, we'll see how it goes, but at least there's options!

I just have to add as an aside, that after two years of eating mostly Vermont cheese, Green just ate a bit of an orange block of shrink-wrapped cheese he'd found and almost gagged. Score 1 for VT.

Indian Christmas in VT

2008-01-03T11:23:00.001-08:00

Green and I don't really observe any particular holiday. We've both worked enough retail to harbor a healthy dislike of Christmas to tell you the truth. I'm Jewish-ish, and Green might be described as a Buddhist Atheist, but we really observe another tradition far more sacred than any these belief systems could possibly encompass. One that his been curiously altered by our flatlander existence. That is the tradition of Indian Christmas.

In New York City there's *lots* of non-Christmas-observers to be found. The Hindus, the Buddhists, the Greeks (who celebrate later), the Jews, the Muslims, and who knows what else. In Queens, Christmas is just a day you get to take off because of the white Manhattanites. Since my family doesn't observe Christmas and Steve's family observes on a different day (they're not Greek, but maybe you should just go with that for the sake of argument) we had to invent some activity for Christmas Day. Since you can't go shopping or to a museum, and all our friends are away, we hereby founded Indian Christmas. (Yes, I am aware that some Indians actually celebrate Christmas, that's just what we call it.) Indian Christmas is the day when no kofta, curry, or parantha goes unloved. The day when naan and rice exceed your carb requirement for the rest of the year. The day when we would order more Indian food than appropriate for most small villages.

When we moved to Burlington we realized that here, Christmas is sort of the only game in town on the 25th. Vishnu might not be shimmying down our chimney this year with a bounty of dosi. (forgive me, that was really bad). Our Indian food options were limited. We had to take action.

Now, I'm a pretty good cook and I'm vegetarian and I'm like a vegan and I'm loving the Indian food, but had never attempted a full-scale Indian banquet at my house before. Or even a tiny one for that matter. Like, I can make curry you know, that that's not really saying much is it? However duty called to uphold our devout non-Christmas tradition. We recruited fellow non-Christmaser, The Hawk, to assist and embarked on our homemade Indian Christmas banquet.

I'm pleased to tell you that City Market is pretty well-equipped to supply the wannabe-Indian spice cabinet and so we stocked up on cardamom and cumin and all those spices that come early in the alphabet and when the day in question arrived, we were already several days into our preparations. We produced a multi-course Indian meal including naan, saag paneer (with our own homemade paneer cheese), aloo gobi, saffron rice, and daal. And some very happy bellies. All together at home. And for chrissake, isn't that what this holiday is supposed to be about anyway? Dammed if I know.

Happy New Year's no matter what you do or don't celebrate!

Coats

2007-10-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

I saw this thing about coats in the New York Times' Style section. It was really the "who's hot and who's not" of coats de jour in the City. Where you can get a $40,000 wooly mamoth fur coat, and so on. But it opened with a familiar scene. A woman and her son were looking out on 7th Avenue to determine what coat they needed before leaving the apartment.

I do this, too. Now if you're a Vermonter you're thinking "WTF?". It's true, your lawn and rolling hills won't give you much indication about outerwear other than if there's snow on the ground or rain coming down. But in the City, you look out and see people. People who've already checked the weather. People who've already been outside. Who've already dressed themselves. And while you may not see eye to eye on weather appropriate woobies with the every one of the general population you can glean something from the average of them. Maybe even more than the sterile website of the National Weather Service (sorry guys!).

What's weird, is that I *still* do this. I get up and look out my bedroom window in the morning before getting dressed. Oddly enough, my tomatoes, apple trees, and the neighbor's hydrangas can't tell me any more than my stuffed animals about what to wear. But I do it without thinking. Pure instinct. It just goes to show, you can take the girl out of the city, but you can't make her dress there.

Writing a perl Script on a Notepad with a Pen

2007-09-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

by Joanna Grossman

Blue Screen
Loading bar hung
I'm still working without you.
I find a pen and some blank paper
and begin to shape text never meant
for the page.

pop chomp stack STDN
The words are isolated.
I hope they survive.

Osgood the Gopher

2007-09-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, it turned out to be a true flatlander day after all. After writing my deep and dark prognostications, I walked out of Aicken and down the steps to see a small, brown gopher making a beeline for me clear across campus. He turned a few feet away and stopped near what I think is some kind of physical science building between Aicken and the library. He was just hanging out. In the middle of Burlington. That, my friend, is why I moved here.

Connections Beyond Exile

2007-09-11T09:11:00.001-07:00

I overslept this morning. I was so angry with myself. It doesn't matter for my work, but I missed the moment when Flight 11 hit the North Tower. I watched the ceremony online last year from my desk. The years before I wasn't doing anything in particular as I was working the event. I mean to say I worked for the City and for the Office of Emergency Management so I didn't need to commemorate the event specifically. I worked it. For some years I worked, ate, slept, and lived World Trade Center. And now I live in Vermont.

I hate talking about September 11th up here because I always hear people's stories of "oh, I heard about it at work" or "I heard about it drinking a latte" or "I saw it on the news". In passing. They heard about it in passing. They went to work. They finished their latte. The weatherman came on next. Their lives didn't stop, let alone for a week. Their city didn't shake a 2.3 on the Richter scale. They didn't breathe the dusty lives of 3000. Their world was not so uncertain that the fear of experiencing that again would forever shape their morning commute. It was just something they heard about. They don't understand what it's like; to be touched by an act of war.

When I'm in New York, or with other New Yorkers, we have an understanding about that time. We just get it. We both experienced it. There is no describing it to others. My former colleagues at OEM are there today, observing the day that our tiny agency tried to save New York. (And to you, who've cracked up a conspiracy to implicate us, I commend your search for truth, but pity your naivete. While OEM would've loved to be an all-powerful agency, creating the fate of the City, it's nothing of that sort. That I can promise you. They never had the juice or the sophistication. OEM is a place of young professionals with enthusiasm, and near-retirees from FDNY and NYPD. People who want to feel connected to the City. To triumph over it's evil. Want to be the nerve center. And to some degree, that can be a self-fulfilling prophesy, but for the most part, it's just a lot of running around - trying to feel a part of something.) The bond of emergency workers is intense and being isolated from that and from New York is weird. And I guess I thought that, this morning, if I was cognizant of the moment when it happened, I would somehow be connected back to that time and that place and those people again.

Between the New Yorkers and the Vermonters is an abyss. New Yorkers felt everything they knew slip away, if only for a time, long enough to understand what it might be like to lose everything, including your mind. On the other side is everyone else. And I'm afraid, most days, that people who are not touched by fear aren't motivated to do what's right. And I'm not talking about fear of spiders or fear of failing your chemistry exam. Even fear of missing a mortgage payment or losing your job. And I'm not even talking about fear of the unknown. I'm talking about fear of the known, of losing life as we know it. Because isn't it those who've experienced that known fear or losing it all, that are the ones who know nothing is worth that price? That that kind of destruction, or hate, or whatever you want to cal it, should never be inflicted upon anyone? That's my fear; that your average minivan driving, Hannaford shopper isn't concerned with the greater good because he hasn't felt any threat to his own life. Because he doesn't know suffering is real enough to try and stop it. And it makes me resent him.

But at the same time, fear, for the observers, seems to have motivated this country to go to war. While New Yorkers were largely against it, the rest of the country was for it. They wanted revenge. Thought it could do...something. I've never figured out what. We destroyed at least one other country because of fear of the unknown. By fear of people who didn't suffer, who don't know. It seems to me that it's those who've witnessed disaster and war who try the hardest to stop it.

So, here's my question to you: is it only fear of renewed suffering that will drive people to do good? Is it pain that has to bind us? Is suffering the only path to community? Or can we connect just for good, without the evil? Can't positive will be more powerful than the fear of the unknown? Because if it can, then there is hope for me here in Vermont and for this country in the world. I want to believe that we can connect just through the power of good will. Prove me right.

Being a Regular

2007-07-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

If the reduction in mass transit was the single largest inconvenience of moving to Vermont, then the lack of coffee carts is a close second.

Coffee carts, for those of you who don't know, are trailers parked from 7am to 10 on sidewalk in front of your office building regardless of where in Manhattan that is. They've got glass walls that display the shelves inside of myriad baked goods (probably from New Jersey) and have coffee, of course, and one or two staff inside, doubtless of Indian, Asian, or Mediterranean origin. There's a window and counter where you order, and on any given day, a queue of rushed, groggy, business-type New Yorkers folding newspapers, awaiting their fix.

Now, most people who live in New York and fall into my demographic (white/Jewish, over-educated, liberal, yuppies from the midwest) have probably switched jobs, at least, every two years since they first arrived in the City. But that's still plenty of time to enjoy what I considered the greatest luxury the coffee cart can offer you. A luxury you can't buy for any amount of money: the luxury of being a regular.

Being a regular (not to be confused with "buying a regular" which is cream + sugar in New York) is one of the few things that you must earn; you cannot buy it for any price. You can't be a filthy rich oil mongol and wake up one morning thinking "I want to walk into the pub down the street tonight and everyone will know me and the bartender will know what I want." I mean you could pull it off, but it wouldn't be the real thing. You only get that by earning it. It's a truly priceless phenomenon.

I can't count the number of times I joined the coffee cart queue, several deep, and Rajesh winked at me and started pouring my decaf w/cream + sugar. I slipped him my exact change and that was that until the next day. Indeed being a regular is such a coveted beast; One of the longest running TV series in history, Cheers, is "Where everybody knows your name".

New Yorkers, while they may not like to admit it, are reciprocally loyal to their coffee carts. I had a boss in New York who gave up coffee and had to change his route from the subway station to his office because he couldn't face his cart.

Now, this may surprise you, but unlike mass transit, the lack of coffee carts wasn't really something I'd factored into moving here. It never dawned on me. But my first day of work here, there absence was made conspicuous. My first few days - more like weeks - I arrived at work without breakfast. Or coffee. How could this be? It never happened before. But there was no where to get these items between my house, the bus, and my office. Not really. There was no coffee cart with Rajesh, and crappy-but-delicious-coffee and the assorted pastry they'd convinced me to buy.

It took me at least a month to figure out that breakfasting in Vermont would require a more deliberate effort on my part. Cruel cruel world. I tried different things - making coffee at home, driving in and stopping Speeder & Earl's (I do love saying "Speeder & Earl"), making coffee at work, but it wasn't the same. Mine may be French press, organic, fair trade, locally grown coffee in my own mug using soy milk, but it still didn't compare to the milky, conventionally brewed concoction in a paper "We Are Happy To Serve You" cup that scorched my mouth, literally, every day. (*Nobody* would ever dare to use there own mug at a coffee cart. This would hold up the line, the ultimate sin in Manhattan.)

To be continued...

Bird in Store

2007-06-14T07:39:00.001-07:00

I'm working on a longer post, but I did just want to mention that the toughest time of day for this flatlander is the morning. No subway. No 15 different french bakeries to pick up almond croissants at. No Pakistani kiosk dude to greet me while picking up the New York Times.

Well, I got what I deserved this morning when I stopped at Price Chopper of all places to get a chocolate croissant on the way in. They don't have any croissants at Price Chopper which seems unfathomable to me. So I bought a muffin. It was gross, but there's not much in the way of breakfast between my driveway and my office in Essex. Anyway, I did notice a bird flying gracefully around the high ceilings of this big box grocery store. He seemed pretty happy to be there. The girl at the register said three of them got in when they opened the loading dock. She said they like it 'cause it's so much cooler in there. At least someone's enjoying it.

PS. The Newsweek subscription mystery continues. Just fess up already!!!

mobile flatlander

2007-05-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

Oh my g-d. If you think that *I'm* having a hard time adjusting to Vermont, you wouldn't believe what my mobile phone's been through.

About three years ago I got myself the oh-so-slim Razr. Why? Because I'm a pretentious little shit. And it was discounted with my cell phone contract renewal. Now everyone has one. whatever.

So, back in January I wrote about my adventures in the far flung Northeast Kingdom. (Yes, they're still calling it that.) What I didn't tell you was that this trip had a victim of the digital age. My lovely Razr. Apparently the Razr was slim and sleek enough to slide right through my slightly unzipped day pack. I noticed it was gone about mid-day, but assumed I'd left it in the car. But a week later, I had to face facts. My 260,000-color display and laser-cut keys were no longer with the living. (Were they ever?)

I am a child of the information generation. My phone is my friend. It goes where I go. It helps me out of a jam. It tells me what I need to hear. It distracts me when I'm lonely. My time without my phone was rough. There was the time when I was stuck not knowing what grain of rice to buy with no means to call Green. There was the time when I had to wait 20 minutes for the next bus, 'cause I couldn't call for a ride. Then there was the zillion times when I didn't know the time because I wasn't in eyeshot of any of the 400 clock towers in Burlington and I haven't worn a watch since the 80s. (My tan line is finally gone.) I became disoriented and uncommunicative. I felt isolated and out of touch. I would see other people chatting merrily on their pink or gun metal Razrs and felt pangs of longing and jealousy.

One day in March, I'd had enough. I drove to the Verizon store in South Burlington and bought a new Motorola Razr. It didn't have my old wallpaper of my friend giving me the finger, or my ring tone of "I'll Always Love You", but it was mine. After taking a pic of some people dressed as whales and downloading the ringtone of a Barred Owl call, we started to bond. My new phone and I quickly connected. Then, one day, the unthinkable happened.

A women who identified herself as "Pam" called me and told me that she had my old phone at home. "How could this be?" I thought. "Was this a cruel, practical joke?" Apparently not. Her husband, Bruce, the president of Audubon, had been in Moose Bog looking for the same birds we were and found my phone. Pam called my last Recent Call , Emacs, and located her in a grocery in Queens. Emacs was confused, but put Pam in contact with me and, after another short drive back to South Burlington, I was reunited with my old phone. It's chrome battery plate was a bit unhinged, but otherwise good as new.

Rhyming in 802

2007-05-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

Ever feel inspired to rap about Vermont? These guys did it first.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL7uW4TYqbs

Props to 7D.

As a follow-up to yesterday, I'd like to add that one of the weirder things about magically receiving Newsweek at our home without paying for it, is that there are several other things I wouldn't mind receiving magically. I would put Mac and PC Random Access Memory at the top of my list. Or an MP3 auto radio tuner thing. Or for someone to neutralize the carbon impact of all this electronic crap to begin with. It's just really weird and I'm steadily becoming a bit obsessed.

Did you buy me a gift subscription to Newsweek?

2007-05-03T05:54:00.000-07:00

Uh...did you buy me a gift subscription to Newsweek? 'Cause we're getting it, and we didn't buy it, and so now we're confused. We're getting newsweek and the obvious people who buy us things for no particular reason - our parents - are either denying it, or they didn't do it. Now, if it was the Gannet-owned-sad-excuse-for-a-news-outlet Burlington Free Press, I could see why they might deny it, but in this case, it seems a bit odd. I think they're innocent.

Now, I am a news junkie and I, for some sick, twisted reason, do miss watching CNN in the elevator on the 20 floor ride up to my office. And I do miss seeing angry Wall-streeters rearranging their Times' with a self-important flourish [on the subway] while I read Metro, AM New York, or whatever other useless rag someone thrust at me just before the turnstyle. But fortunately for the internet, I can still read the times everyday same as before.

Back on point, though - seriously, did you buy me Newsweek?

Recycle Bad Electronic Stuff

2007-04-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Earth day. Who doesn't love the earth? It's my favorite planet.

I don't know if you're aware that your computers, printers, DVD players, and other lovely modern conveniences contain lead, mercury, and lots of other crap that is seriously bad for the environment.

Is this techy-chick telling you not to buy that stuff? I'd rather die. I'm just telling you that you can't throw it out. Now you're all "not ever? Ack!". No, I mean you just have to give it to a place that will strip it down and recycle it so that that bad stuff doesn't hurt the earth which, as we've already established, we like quite a lot.

In New York, I used to haul this stuff down to Union Square where every few months they will collect that stuff on Saturdays.

Here in VT, a few weeks ago we did a little recycling day of our own. I sorted out lots of crap we didn't need. One pile was clothes that I dropped of at the Sal Val. Another, random household shit that Recycle North was all too happy to take. A third was cds for the used cd store. And the last was some random joys of home computing that no longer worked. I knew that our hip new Apple Specialist, Small Dog Electronics, would take this stuff so I drove over there and dropped the box on the counter.
"Oh you can leave that here. Thanks." Said the hip-but-geeky dude there.
"Don't you need to weigh it?" They usually charge you a few cents per pound.
"Nope. It's free for some Earth Day thing."
"Awesome! Thanks!"
Hip-but-geeky also told me that they make sure that your electronic recycling doesn't just get shipped to some landfill in China, which is more than I can say for some things.

So, if the time is right to part with your 4 ton CRT monitor, your shiny P3 Sony Vaio, your clamshell iBook, or your 1996 Palm Pilot, visit Small Dog and recycle those goodies!

Happy Earth Day, Earth!

I Can See Nature

2007-04-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

Apparently it's snowing in NYC, too. At least according to all the tweets there. The thing is that here, there's snow all around me. I can see it on the ground and out the windows. My point is that I can't pretend it doesn't exist.

In the City, I'd be in my apartment where the view was - er - limited (read: we had lots of window coverings given our ground floor apartment). Then I'd be on the sidewalk and street where snow melts pretty fast, but if I was out while it was actually snowing during the five minute walk the subway, I might see it. Then I'm on the subway for half and hour. The only view there is subterranean blackness. Then I get out and have another concrete-heavy five-minute walk to the building I worked in where my cube was not by a window.

Now, if my co-workers and I were to hook up for coffee around 11, inevitably, the one guy who commutes 2 hours each way from Long Island would tell us it was snowing out there. Maybe half of us will have seen a few flakes on the way in and have written them off as weird and possibly in our imaginations. We'd snort at Long-Island-guy's exotic suburban lifestyle, finish our coffee cart drinks and back to work.

Here, that just doesn't work. Lord knows, I've tried. Yesterday one of my co-workers told me we might get six inches and I was all "nu-uh". (And this after I got hailed on!) You can't possibly imagine my amazement at the fact that not only did it snow, it stuck. Like, people told me it would snow. The weather widget on my desktop said it would snow. The National Weather Service website said it would snow. Yet denial prevailed. When will I learn?

Mass Transit & The Mad Dash for the Essex Junction Bus

2007-03-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

Probably the single biggest difference in my daily life from NYC to here, is transportation. I totally took the subway for granted. My MO for getting anywhere in the City is this: I go wherever I want, whenever I want. There's always a subway stop and always a subway. Never is a second thought required for getting blitzed after work or on a night out. Alas, the subway is always a city girl's designated driver. [NYC 1]

We have a car in Burlington. Don't misunderstand me, we had a car in the City, too. And parking it was a nightmare, but that's sort of my point - it was a waste. We also have our own driveway where our car lives here. But we typically don't take it to work. Green bikes in. (Yes, he biked straight through the Vermont winter except twice when he skied in. He is more beast than man.) Anyway, I take the bus in a lot.

When we looked for houses we had to be on the bus line 'cause, well isn't it obvious? This concept was quite new to our otherwise-excellent realtor. So, being a cartographer, I created a map of Burlington and painstakingly overlaid every bus route in the city on it. So, our house is about a block and a half from the bus stop which is excellent.

Now when you take the bus here, if you're going further than downtown, you always have to transfer there. Fair enough, I used to transfer in the City twice a day. Now here in Vermont, if your "inbound" bus is running a bit late, the driver will call out to the passengers and ask what buses people are transferring to. Because your outbound buses will *wait for you*! I kid you not. They will actually hold the bus if they know you're coming. All the buses otherwise leave downtown at the same time (every quarter-of and quarter-after). Now, herein lies my dilemma. What's a headphone-wearing, narcissistic, anti-social, urbanite to do when the driver calls out for your bus connection and you don't notice because you generally don't care what happens in your immediate vicinity? After all, you'd never have survived ten ipod-blasting, gum-chewing, punk-school-kid-yelling, baby-crying, newspaper-rattling years in the New York City subway system if you did. You miss the announcement, that's what. You get off the bus, see your connection driving away and you haul your pretty ass down Cherry Street flailing your arms at the bus as if a Marc Jacobs sample sale is about to close early, until the bus driver takes pity on you, stops and opens the door.

City girl, you are not in Kansas anymore. Or as Green likes to say: "We're in Kansas, now."

Interesting Entrances

2007-03-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

[I wrote this a couple weeks ago]

Today I was unlocking the door to my office - which is essentially a cabin in the woods - and I noticed something was pulling my hair. I looked up to see what could only be described as giant, deadly, daggers of ice pointing directly at my head, one of which had been poking into my hair. It was scary. I didn't know how scary ice could be. I lived.

Another morning, when I was living in the city, I was waiting by the elevator bank of my sterile, 30+ story, cubicle-ridden office building when I saw a cockroach about 3 inches long and an inch wide just walking along as if it owned the place (which it may very well have). I wasn't so hungry for my brioche anymore.

Moral of the story: Going to work can be scary anywhere. [VT 1]

Town Meeting Day

2007-03-20T13:19:00.000-07:00

Every week at work, we all email out our schedules for the following week because nobody here knows how to use their Outlook calendars. So, when there's a holiday the next week our little schedule is pre-filled with "Election Day" or "Christmas". Very recently it arrived in my inbox with some very curious text. "Town Meeting Day".

Town Meeting Day? What is this, Star's Hollow? I wrote back "What's Town Meeting Day?" And learned, that low, employers throughout Vermont give their employees the day off for Town Meeting Day. The days is designated for...town meetings. Look, if you're a Vermonter and you're reading this you may not understand why this is so hard to grasp, but dude, come on. It's so antiquated. Not that all antiques are bad, just... Anyway, Burlington doesn't really have a real Town Meeting Day anymore, so I actually didn't get to experience it firsthand, but I asked for a lot of street reports.

On Town Meeting Day, towns around the state have food and organized discussion about the issues facing Vermont. It's a family event. And we all had local elections - even Burlington. (Green and I got to vote for a school budget for the first time!) I just had to wonder, as beautifully utopian as this may sound, like - maybe the "yay" and "nay" vote is a little obsolete? To be fair, I don't know what kind of stuff they yay/nay on these days. But I was thinking about the contentious Southern Connector issue facing our neighborhood (possibly to be blogged about another time) and I was thinking that anonymity could be key there or on any highly localized issue that could pit one neighbor against another. This is, after all, a state where you're neighbors are more than just the noises you hear through the plaster, or screen names you see logging into your wireless router.

Addendum: Upon re-reading this I felt need for clarification. I'm not really dissing Town Meeting Day. Quite the contrary, I think it's cool, but totally bizarre. Particularly to me, an urban, jaded, narcissistic blogger. But I get that it's cool and undoubtedly for the greater good. But, honestly - don't you also think it's kind of funny? I mean, don't your out of town friends always laugh if you mention it? Just admit it.

Seedlings, Giant Snowfall, & My Delinquency

2007-03-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to apologize (to myself, at least) that I haven't posted for ages. It's not that I've moved away or am any less of a Flatlander, lord knows.

The last time I posted was in February and there still hadn't been any respectable snow. Just after that we got like 3 feet over night. It was awesome. Everything closed and we were skiing in the streets. (And don't forget we actually live in "City of" Burlington.) What was less awesome was when we were still doing that like a week later. Like, I'm just saying, why don't we plow the streets? Isn't Vermont's economy based on people being able to enjoy our "winter wonderland" as The Hawk says? So - er - how are they going to enjoy it if they can't get to it 'cause there's still six inches of snow on the highways a week later? Everyone here is all "oh, it'll melt", "who cares", "I have a three zillion lb truck that gets 4 mpg with 14-wheel drive". Yeah, but isn't that kind of giving up? I mean, if we're not even going to bother attempting to keep the economy moving through an emergency (and a rather mild one, at that), then why not just call it a day? Pack up and move to New Hampshire? I don't know. I find it quite confounding.

In other news the seeds that I ordered in the previous post arrived and The Hawk and I divvied them up. I have many tiny seedlings coming up now. Tomatoes, kale, chard, eggplant, choy, and some others. They are extremely cute.

I Went Seed Crazy

2007-02-13T12:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I ordered 32 kinds of seeds a week ago. The Hawk came over the same day the the High Mowing Seeds catalog arrived. Dangerous combination.

Now, you're all - "whoa, Joey, it's February in Vermont. Don't get too excited just yet". But begun a little cold frame contraption on the back porch and I'm starting some pansies and other hardy stuff.

I cannot overstate how different gardening in the City and in Vermont are. In New York I belonged to a community garden where I had a 3'x4' plot in which I grew cherry tomatoes and like two other plants. I also took over an old tree pit in the sidewalk in the front of my building, against the wishes of my super. That was purely an act of gardening desperation in the bleak bastion of cement that is New York City. But it was still fun. My friend, Wilson, said that the plants should do well there because of all the carbon dioxide - ya know - from the traffic.

Here in VT, for the first time, I'll have my own garden. Mine. All Mine. (I'll share it with Green, tho.) It's in my back yard - I have a yard - and it's a raised bed of about 20'x20'. So, it's bigger. I'll elaborate more on that later, but my point here is that I'll have some room to work with. 33x more to be specific. So, maybe all the seeds will find homes. We'll, seed. Ha. (Sorry about that.)

Days in Vermont Have More than 24 Hours

2007-02-07T15:45:00.000-08:00

When we lived in the City it always seemed like, by the time we got home from work, it was time to go to sleep. We'd have time for like one thing: making dinner, watching a TV show, working on a writing project, calling another human being, or if we planned to to stay up - going out with friends. Forget things like reading, cleaning, talking, or showering.

While I understand the basics of orbital dynamics, and the fact that the earth is more or less round, I am still faced with the fact there are more hours in the day here in Vermont.

The first few months we were here, we were just confused a lot. We'd guess the time and be off by three hours. We were always early for everything. The next few months we were like, "shit, it's so early!" all the time. The next few months after that we become more productive human beings. Cooking, canning, gardening, reading, and communicating with all the extra time. Then we were like "holy mother of Jeeba, there is more time here!". But the sad fact of the matter was that nobody believed us. We'd tell our friends "come visit, there's more time here" or "yeah, I read five books yesterday with all the extra time we have in Vermont". But alas.

So, I'm asking you, probably-non-existent reader, how is it that there's more time here? I've tried to work it out. Like, okay, I don't commute 90 minutes a day anymore. But I commute maybe 30 minutes. I'm not getting an extra 4 hours out of that. And, we cook more and eat out less - surely that takes up more time, not less. There's no convenient coffee cart here, or bodega there, or authentic Italian mozzarella on every freaking street corner here - ya know what I'm saying? Like you have to get in your car and drive to get that stuff here. Or take the bus. So that's all more time, not less.

So, now I'm thinking that we're just nuts. And then our friends finally come to visit I hear them saying things like "it can't be that early!" and "Oh man, we've got tons of time" and I'm glad they, too, have come to realize that we have extra hours in the day here. I don't know how we got 'em, but it's sure worth the taxes.

Skiing on Shelburne Pond

2007-02-06T06:35:00.000-08:00

As you may know, we just started getting some real snow here in Vermont. I was about to head to Canada if we didn't get some skiing in soon.

Cold without snow is only good for city life where you can meet up for lattes and risotto and bouillabaisse. But when the snow comes, it just takes up room in a city where we're already paying $800 a square foot. Snow in Vermont, however, plays to our strengths.

Green and I both got new x-ctry skis this year. We're really, er, new at it. So, we're looking for good places to practice. Apparently there's ski centers you can go and pay - BZZZT. And there's places far from here, but it seems to be hard to find the ideal flat, powdery skiing locale. You'd think everyone in Vermont would know one. My theory is that they keep their good places secret.

So anyway, we were looking for ponds to skate on the other day when we came across Shelburne Pond - which is more like a Lake. It was totally frozen, but it was covered with lots of snow. So, not skateable. There were people ice-fishing - yes, people really do that, it's not just National Geographic specials - so we knew the ice was thick. We, all of a sudden, were like - thunk - we could ski here! Flat, big, snowy, perfect!

We came back the next day with our skis and skied all over the lake.

So, we're skiing along and a truck drives by us. On the pond. Some dude is driving his pick-up truck on the ice. And we're hearing these wicked loud booms following it. Whoa. Apparently that's normal, but I just feel like driving on a frozen lake is really never a good idea. Call me crazy.

Anyway, we skiied around 'till dark. It was pretty awesome. [VT 1]

Vermont Cheddar Challenge 2007

2007-02-04T08:21:00.000-08:00

I really like cheese. I have the user name iLoveCheese on several websites, I own a T-shirt that says "I love cheese", and I have a considerable collection of books on cheese.

So, as you can imagine, when we decided to move to Vermont everyone was all "oh, you're moving for the cheese!" or "You can become a cheesemaker" or you can be a "professional cheese taster" or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Very clever.

Here's the thing - organic cheese is hard to come by. We aim to find a Vermont Cheddar that not only we like, but we support their cheese-making process.

We had to choose five cheeses for our cheese tasting. Here's our criteria:

It has to be cheddar
It has to be relatively easy to get *or* available in bulk
It has to be from Vermont

From these criteria we narrowed the cheeses to these Five:

Now, I concede that pitting Grafton 4-year against Shelburne 1-year wasn't really fair. Here's our combined tasting notes we derived for each:

Cabot Seriously Sharp - good, basic reliable, smooth
Shelburne Farms, 1 year - a tiny bit sharp, acidic, smoky, smooth
Cambridge - plasticy, eggy, highly acidic
Grafton 4-star - extremely sharp, crumbly
Neighborly Farms Raw Milk Organic - plasticy, highly acidic, a bit sharper

Grafton, we agreed, was probably too strong for every day eating, but we'd have to test the less aged varieties. Overall, I think we agreed that Shelburne was first place, exempting Grafton.

Next to come: Follow up on Grafton, and research on Shelburne. Are Shelburne's cow's happy?

To be continued...

V-Day @ White Castle

2007-02-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

OMG, do we even have a White Castle in Vermont? Well, I hope not, to be honest. This is one party that I'm not sorry to be missing. But I hope you take pics, Sooz!

Hearts & Burgers

Footwear: A Public Service Annoucement

2007-01-30T07:17:00.000-08:00

When I lived in the City I had a running joke (that only I found funny) about how, as a public service to the City of New York, I would give seminars on how to choose weather appropriate footwear.

It made me freaking crazy to walk to the subway on a frigid slushy January day only to see goofy women in stiletto heels taking their little bird steps toward the train stop. My reward was leaving them in the slush behind my winter hiking boots.

I just got new winter boots. We went to PA to visit E&B over New Year's and about 70 miles into the road trip I discovered one of my snow boots on top of the car, slightly wedged into the kayak rack. Goodbye, old boots. Hello, 4 zillion-fill uberloft boots with my name on them. Of course it had finally snowed by the time they arrived and so, even though they felt like a men's size 7, I insisted to myself that they fit. They don't. They're way too big, but now it's a war and I must win. 1 pair of insoles and two pairs of socks later, they're perfect.

So, this morning I'm rushing out 'cause I want to take the bus to work and I'm cutting it close. I'm on the porch choosing my footwear and alas, my trusty 2nd pair of socks is upstairs. So, do I take the chance of waiting another 1/2 hour for the bus? Or do I wear my Dr. Martins? I smoosh my docs onto my feet and haul ass out the door. I just make the bus.

I'm at work and I go into the main building (Okay, imagine a farm with multiple buildings. You've just pictured my office. Except that inside are winterized offices, not animals. Mostly) to get the mail. I'm holding a cup of hot tea in one hand. Someone's brought doughnuts! Jeeba bless 'em 'cause I haven't had breakfast today. I take a glazed in the other hand. I stick the mail under my arm. I'm out the building and down the steps when - OUCH! I fall and, trying not to drop anything, land hard on my knees. 'Cause I slipped in my godforsaken docs. Karma hurts.

Stop Eating so Much Pre-Packaged Crap

2007-01-29T11:31:00.000-08:00

New Yorker and Vermonters alike have access to great whole foods. Thank Jeeba for that.

I've been saying it for years. Here's Michael Pollan saying so with more authority, for the New York Times.
Unhappy Meals

Birds & The Chronicles of the Northeast Kingdom

2007-01-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

Green is way into birds. I...uh...think they're pretty, but I'd prefer they come to me. But anyway, we're in this big contest where there are all these teams and we compete to see which team can see the most birds. While I'm not nuts-o about the birds, I'm quite competitive. So, Green, The Hawk, and I took a little adventure this weekend into the Northeast Kingdom to get (read: see) some birds that no other team has a prayer of seeing.

Green and The Hawk's goal: to see birds.
My goal: to scoff at the other teams.

First let me tell you, if you're not a Vermonter, that there is an actual region of Vermont called "The Northeast Kingdom". When I first heard of this fabled land I expected Aslan and Mr. Beaver to greet us at the highway exit. Something similar did happen.

We skiied, snowshoed, and hiked all day and found Moose Bog at around sunset. (They hide it.) And Green and The Hawk both pretty much fell in it. [Insert Nelson from The Simpson's two-toned "ha-ha" here.]

We saw Crossbills, Gray Jays and heard, but didn't see a wily Spruce Grouse. I wanted to see the grouse. What can I say - somehow I relate to them. The bog was quite a fantastic view all snowed over and set into a mountain. [VT 1] Central Park's not bad, but uh... this is a kingdom, after all.

Post-Punk Cupcakes

2007-01-26T13:08:00.000-08:00

Both in NYC and here in Burlington, Isa Chandra Moskowitz's recipes have been clutch. Who, on Jeeba's green earth, does not love a cupcake? She's making it big time now...
Strict Vegan Ethics, Frosted With Hedonism

Subway Breakdown

2007-01-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

So, I was back in the City last weekend and Green and I frolicked around, walking down Bleeker Street, eating soba noodles and catching an excellent late night show at the Village Vanguard [NYC 1]. And we're on the N train home and Green says "Wasn't tonight fun?". And so, naturally, I burst into tears.

It was so much fucking fun, that I lost it. I was thinking that I'd never have that much fun in Vermont.

The next day at Whole Foods, the Strand, Small's, Vegan Paradise II, and all the other NYC places I like to frequent [NYC 1], I kept thinking the same thing: Vermont is hopeless. What were we thinking?

The following day at JFK a lady behind me in the security screening line totally picks a fight with me. I mean, truly. She was just a really nasty piece of work. And toting these two little ratfuckers, no less. And it was 7 am. Once we were happily situated in the JetBlue terminal, I remember. New Yorkers are crazy! All of us. I was that way, too. Totally, constantly agitated, provocative, angry nutters. That's why we left. To escape the crazies. It's once thing to hang around town with all your friends for a few days, but we had to work with these people. Ugh, you wouldn't believe the jackholes at my last job in New York - totally damaged goods. That why everyone I know, yourself included, no doubt, thinks about leaving. Cause you don't like the crazy, fight-picking, fur-wearing, rat-fucker toting nutters. Who does? [NYC -1]

120 minutes later we're clicking into our x-country skiis gliding through the fresh powder at the park down the street from our house, and I'm all "oh yeah. VT rocks!". [VT 1]

Mitton Hoobydobbies

2007-01-25T06:25:00.000-08:00

Staying warm in Vermont is essential. But that's not to say it's not in New York City. NYC is cold! People there like to think that they defy the weather and thus wear stupid shoes. And I was among them, but that's just nonsense. I like to stay warm and when I attached my down mittens to the end of my jacket sleeves the other day with those goofy hoobydobbies that do that, I thought, "wow, I can pull this off here".

Score: VT 1, NYC 0.

Work in Progress

2007-01-25T06:16:00.000-08:00

So, this blog is a work in progress. I'm still working out the layout and colors and all that. But I figure that since it's a blog about my identity crisis, that can serve as a metaphor.

Big City Girl Moves to Dramatically Smaller City

2007-01-24T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm the girl you love to hate. I know - that's a dumb cliche, but if you're a real Vermonter, it's true. I own multiple Apple computers, I wear a lot of black, I don't accept the Macy's on Church Street as the real thing, I practically invented the I'm-wearing-my-headphones-to-ignore-you, and I could definitely give you a walking tour of Manhattan worth paying for.

But now I'm living in America. Vermont to be specific. The benefits are the cheese, the excellent outdoor recreation, the fact that my living space has increased 6x, and that Vermonters are the nicest people you'll ever meet.

And I'm having an identity crisis. How predictable was that?